LEARNING WITH ANIMATION:Wives, where is you value?
I'll Just Wait And Hope It Gets Better
All long termed relationships, are based on value! Let me say it again, All long termed relationships are based on value! Now prostitutes, mistresses and girlfriends use their bodies to get value, but wives are to use their bodies to maintain their value. We all know many women are not great cooks, I didn't say they can't cook, but they may not be great at it. We also know many women are not great mothers, I didn't say they aren't good mothers, but at times they may not be great at it. Most women are not great keepers of the home, I didn't say they can't clean, but they may not be great at it. Now, men know this in advance that, their fiancees' may be weak in a few of those areas, and are willing to take up the slack and help out. They are willing to overlook those areas and marry them anyway, because of what their bodies have to offer (I Corinthians 7:1-4). Most men/husbands are not great handymen around the home, I didn't say they couldn't fix anything, they just aren't great at it.
Most men/husbands are not great-conversationalist with their wives, I didn't say they don't talk to their wives, they're just not great at it. Most men/husbands are not great at spending time with their children, I didn't say they didn't spend any time with them, but due to them being busy working odd or long hours or for whatever reason, they're just not great at it. But because of their ability to provide, they are able to maintain their primary value in marriage. Now once again, if the husband is not great at being a handyman, not great at talking with his wife or not great at spending time with his children. And then suddenly decided he was going to sit around the house in excellent health and bringing in no income for the next three years. He refuses to go out and work or makes excuses for not going to work during that same period of time. How long do you think his wife would keep him? The answer is, NOT VERY LONG. And likewise, what if a wife is not a great cook or not a great mother or not a great keeper of the home. And she then decided that, she'd often make excuses and refuses to be available for her husband sexually on a regular basis for about five years. By neglecting her primary function to him, how long do you think he'll keep her, whether they have children or no children? The answer to that also is, NOT VERY LONG.
What needs to known and understood again is that, the husband oversees the finances/provisions and the wife oversees the sex. Notice I didn't use the word control, I used the word oversee, which is to make it's available whenever needed. With the husband his role is to ensure that, his wife and family have a place to live, provide food, clothing, and transportation, in other words ensure that his family is taken care of. The word ensure is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as, To make sure or certain; insure. But if that husband doesn't do it then I Timothy 5:8 says, But if any provide not for his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel (unbeliever).
Likewise the wife's role is to ensure that sex takes place between her husband and herself. In other words, she is to make sure that it does happen regularly between them. It's like I shared in question 16 of this chapter, to make available in covenant. But to not make it available, by making excuses or refusing makes them a covenant breaker, which is like I said in chapter 4, it makes them a CONARTIST (Romans 1:31). Like I shared moments ago, prostitutes, mistresses and girlfriends use their bodies to get value, but wives are to use their bodies to maintain their value. So many times trouble will start and continue when the wives to start using their bodies to get value with their husbands, as they bargain with or sale themselves to their husbands on a regular basis. But the difference between both scenario's are, if the man dies and has no last will and testament the prostitute, mistress or girlfriend get nothing. But in the other scenario, if he dies, the wife inherits everything, so in a nutshell she is protecting her investment from outside temptations. If she doesn't, she'll through apathy open doors of temptation to her husband and herself that, should never be opened, because once they're opened, they're very difficult to close and become one again. What needs to be understood is that other than money matters, this is probably the most common problem in marriage, in that the wife doesn't understand her role and is operating in corrupt wisdom or should I say, the spirit of error. As I've said more than once in this book, this is not an inditement against women, but a wake up call of having UNTRAINED, UNTAMED and UNRULY EMOTIONS.
Even though we all know that men have their emotional issues of which I covered many issues in chapter four, concerning many lives, but I'm making sure I stick with the present question, Wife's where is your value? In Romans 1:26-27 it gives a very strong hint of the natural use of the woman according to God's design. But the Holy Spirit wanted me to use the words PRIMARY USE for the sake of this teaching. The reason he told me to use PRIMARY USE, is so the woman of the so-called 80's, 90's and 2000's can't say that, "God made me for more than just sex." Or "He made the woman to bear offspring" or "To take care of the home as a helpmate" or whatever else women may choose to use to support their claims in dispute. But ladies even though most of your claims or disputes may be true to some degree, just remember that when Adam was in the Garden of Eden, there were no other human beings for him to lay with, until God made Eve. The offspring didn't come 'til much later, he made Eve from one of Adam's ribs in Genesis chapter two, but there were not any babies conceived until Genesis 4:1-2.
The fall of man, the anger of God and the Prophecy of God sending a redeemer into the earth, meaning Jesus, all took place before Eve got pregnant from Adam. But bear in mind that most of the male and female animals were paired off by species and would at times have sex in view of Adam and Eve. So be mindful that, Adam and Eve were having sex intercourse long before Eve became pregnant. So by understanding, offspring didn't come right away and there were no houses in the garden to keep clean, those things came later, even though Adam and Eve continued to nurture their companionship. Now Romans 1:26-27 defines the PRIMARY USE/NATURAL USE of the woman by saying, (26) For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the NATURAL USE into that which is against nature: (27) And like wise also the men, leaving the NATURAL USE of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly (unimaginable), and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet (necessary). As I shared earlier that sex isn't the only reason that God made Eve, but it's her primary function to her man, that came later and so it is still the same today, even though CORRUPT WISDOM has watered it down quite a bit. Even though it shouldn't be happening at all if they aren't married to one another, but when it's happening through the prostitute, mistress, or girlfriend, it's a transaction. But again, if it's happening between husband and wife, then it's a lifestyle.
Now with UNTRAINED/UNTAMED and UNRULY EMOTIONS playing a large part of this equation, we can understand that CORRUPTED WISDOM doesn't come from above, but from underneath. James 3:14-16 bears that out by saying, (14) But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. (15) This wisdom desendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. (16) For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. With that in mind concerning the spirit of error and corrupted wisdom, a troubled marriage is like unto a politician and a taxpayer. When running or campaigning for office, the politician will make all kinds of campaign promises, then once he or she gets into office, seldom honors or lives up to their campaign promises and the taxpayer foots the bill. In other words, the taxpayer continues to pay their salary(meet their needs), but gets little or no performance of duties in return. If the politician is the husband and he doesn't work to provide provision and security for his wife, who happens to be the taxpayer. By him not paying the bills as his assigned way to provide provision and security, she'll eventually impeach (divorce) him or let him die in office (marriage). And likewise, if the wife is the politician and the husband is the taxpayer, she would make campaign promises and seldom honor or live up to her respecting/reverencing, providing sexual intercourse and having offspring, he'll either impeach (divorce) her or let her die in office (marriage).
You see, this is something that is very seldom spoken of or seldom challenged, CORRUPT WISDOM/SPIRIT OF ERROR has painted this and other things as a backwards picture. And continually presents them as images painted to look right, but in that lies the deception. If the husband isn't providing and paying the bills within six months almost everyone seems to know about it. But if the wife refuses or shortchanges her husband in the bedroom, six years may go by and almost no one knows about it, either way both will put a strain on any marriage relationship. But at this time I ask again, Wives, where is your value? Or do you understand what your primary value is to your husband? In question 17, I shared about affection being likened to emotional candy and the dangers of focusing on that alone, for many women they call it meeting their emotional needs. Also in that mix is having dialogue with his wife, the affection and conversations are very valid needs for a woman, but they also have their proper order.
There is EMOTIONAL MATURITY and EMOTIONAL NEEDS in that order, but what the SPIRIT OF ERROR has done is switched the order to put focus or emphasis much more on EMOTIONAL NEEDS being put first ahead of EMOTIONAL MATURITY. Which has prompted some husbands to wrongfully classify their wives as being frigid. This misaligned order, has made many wives spectators in bed instead of participants, as they can only hope that their husbands push all the right buttons to get them aroused to the point of performance. Now, if the husband isn't able to accomplish this feat of arousal with regularity, she'll often blame him for shortchanging her and the friction between them will begin to grow. What she has failed to realize is that the focus on EMOTIONAL NEEDS alone has lulled her into becoming emotionally handicap.
By consistently being a spectator in bed, rather than a participant, it shaves some of the sharpness off each episode before they can even get started. Even in sports we know that spectators take a while to warm up to the action, but the participants come ready to perform, because they've thought about it and trained in advance before each event. Even Philippians 4:8 condensed bears that out by saying, finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Wives; unknowingly you've been setup to fail, by the misalignment of EMOTIONAL NEEDS being placed before EMOTIONAL MATURITY, through CORRUPT WISDOM affecting your behavior in bed sexually. I Corinthians 15:33 bears that out by saying, Be not deceived(fooled); evil communications CORRUPT good manners(behavior). It's kind of like a baby elephant at a circus and there is a short rope tied to one of his legs and connected to a small spike in the ground. Now every time that little elephant pulls on that rope the spike won't let him go anywhere. As time goes on, the outcome is the same and the little elephant grows to believe that he can't pull away from that spike. Even when he's full gown, he believes the same thing, even though he's strong enough to pull away and escape. He is now fooled that he can go no further, much the same way that CORRUPT WISDOM/SPIRIT OF ERROR had us all convinced that there is an Easter Bunny or a Santa Claus, only to find out later that, neither were true. But many still grow up and teach their children to believe in those same fallacies, as the cycle continues from generation to generation.
Wives by leaning heavily to EMOTIONAL NEEDS being met first, you limit your progress as a woman and even as the sexual being that God made you to be. It has put you in a little box and made you believe that you can only come out of that little box after your husband gets you all stirred up emotionally. That's why the romance novels, soap operas and other similar forms of entertainment are so popular and yet dangerous. What they are doing is putting you to sleep in one area of your life, which is the EMOTIONALLY MATURE part and causing you to go more after your emotional needs being met by your husband. Therefore, when your husband needs to enjoy his wife sexually, it is often a great challenge and struggle for the wife to perform, to satisfy and to be satisfied in bed. It's like I shared earlier in question 17 about emotional candy/affection, with the wife trying to extract that emotional candy from her husband on a regular basis.
It can sometimes get to the point of emotionally draining the husband, as he tries to keep up with his wife's emotional needs. Even to the point of her seeming very insecure, if she doesn't get all that she believes she needs. When that happens, it has become a currency to her, a
method of payment before she can physically bless her husband sexually. If she is frequently depressed or insecure, it can often become very expensive for the husband to be with his wife emotionally and sexually. She will often display LAZY EMOTIONS or FRAGILE EMOTIONS or UNRULY EMOTIONS or possibly DARK EMOTIONS, making it extremely difficult for the husband to locate her emotionally, because she may not manifest the same type on emotions every time. And as with most husbands, they are unskillful in recognizing where their wives are emotionally, even when they are sitting right next to them. For those husbands that are aware of where their wives are located emotionally, many of those wives have settled into an unsettling comfort zone and won't come out even at the urging of their husband. As that takes place, it is a continual on and off gap between them, as the marriage continues to try getting back on track.
You see, through GODLY WISDOM, EMOTIONAL MATURITY tells them that they are whole or how to get whole, while through CORRUPT WISDOM, EMOTIONAL NEEDS tells them that they are not whole until something else happens first. Therefore, they don't FEEL complete enough to complete their husband on regular basis and it is and on and off struggle year after year. What EMOTIONAL NEEDS FIRST arrangement through CORRUPT WISDOM has done, is develop a cleverly disguised way for the wife to break the marriage covenant to her husband on a regular basis and make it excusable and acceptable at the same time. As a result, adultery and divorce, becomes present not only in secular marriages. But also in marriages where at least the wife is a Christian, meaning that she should know better regarding these pitfalls, but ignores them. The marriage covenant was designed by God, wherein provision and sex come before affection, even though affection is a large part of marriage. But being consistently sexual toward your husband produces affection in him toward his wife more than toward anyone else. II Thessalonians 2:16-17 bears that out by saying, (16) Now the Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, (17) Comfort your hearts, and establish you in every good word and work. And concerning laboring or working, Hebrew 6:10 says, For God is not unrighteous to forget your WORK AND LABOUR OF LOVE, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints(mate), and do minister. Now a brief overview II Thessalonians 2:16-17, verse 16 tells us what God and Jesus did for us, while verse 17 tells us what we should be doing in exchange for them. Verse 16 tells us that, Jesus and Father God loves us and has given us everlasting consolation and good hope, not bad hope, but good hope and they did it for us through grace. Now verse 17 tells us what we're to do in gratitude for what they've done for us by saying that, we are to comfort our hearts and establish ourselves in every good word and work. In other words, learn the truth and keep doing the truth in word and deed.
For many wives to perform sexually for their husbands they consider it work, but they don't consider the fact that Jesus was spit on, criticized, beaten and despised for them and that it was real work for him to do. I also know that, "he wasn't in the mood" and "didn't feel like" going to the cross to die for us. Of which we know that he had to put his feelings and emotions at rest in the Garden of Gethsemane and do the emotionally mature thing by dying to self, so we could have an opportunity at eternal life(Matthew 26:36-46). It wasn't easy for him, even though we know that God the Father gave him the grace to taste death for every man and woman (Hebrews 2:9). Both God the Father and Jesus knew that our eternal futures were at stake and did it as a labor of love. After all, I know as a father myself that, it couldn't have been easy for God the Father to turn his back on his Son Jesus while they beat him and hung him on the cross to die (Matthew 27:27-60). Therefore, whatever they ask of us we should likewise consider it a labor of love.
After all, I haven't found any place in the Bible, where sex with your husband is equivalent to the crucifixion. You might say, "You don't know my husband, he's this way" or "He's that way."
It's like Hebrews 6:10 says, a labour of love toward your mate and that verse also says that God is not going to forget it; if you do it as a labour of love toward his name. From what I know from reading, praying and understanding the Bible, sex between a man and wife in the marriage covenant was designed by God to be the easiest and most enjoyable arena of pleasure. The reason is, it provides immediate gratification for the parties involved, if they understand its purpose. But through the CORRUPT WISDOM/SPIRIT OF ERROR, it's become the stingiest place and the arena of struggle as husband and wife attempt to come together. It even opened the door wide to what I call the UNHOLY-10. The UNHOLY-10 is used by wives all across this nation and abroad on a regular basis in one form or another. They're written into TV and movie scripts, in books and sometimes as jokes on sitcoms, it is CORRUPT WISDOM at work in marriage. They're the same 10, I used in chapter four, but now I'll elaborate more to bring a greater clarity, as I continue to compare the CORRUPT WISDOM/SPIRIT OF ERROR to GODLY WISDOM/SPIRIT OF TRUTH. Like I shared earlier that, CORRUPT WISDOM looks right, feels right, smells right, tastes right, but somewhere on the inside of you, you know it's not right, but you do it anyway...
By O. Hall Jr.
Copyrighted 10/2007
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